A Mind That Found Itself by Clifford Whittingham Beers

Author:Clifford Whittingham Beers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: mental health, insane, insanity, mind, patient, biography, autobiography, brain, bipolar, Suicide, lithium, antipsychotic, medicine, drug, straight jacket, asylum
ISBN: 9781849899000
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2011
Published: 2011-12-08T00:00:00+00:00

During the first seven or eight hours, excruciating pains racked not only my arms, but half of my body. Though I cried and moaned, in fact, screamed so loudly that the attendants must have heard me, little attention was paid to me—possibly because of orders from Mr. Hyde after he had again assumed the role of Doctor Jekyll. I even begged the attendants to loosen the jacket enough to ease me a little. This they refused to do, and they even seemed to enjoy being in a position to add their considerable mite to my torture.

Before midnight I really believed that I should be unable to endure the torture and retain my reason. A peculiar pricking sensation which I now felt in my brain, a sensation exactly like that of June, 1900, led me to believe that I might again be thrown out of touch with the world I had so lately regained. Realizing the awfulness of that fate, I redoubled my efforts to affect my rescue. Shortly after midnight I did succeed in gaining the attention of the night watch. Upon entering my room he found me flat on the floor. I had fallen from the bed and perforce remained absolutely helpless where I lay. I could not so much as lift my head. This, however, was not the fault of the straitjacket. It was because I could not control the muscles of my neck which that day had been so mauled. I could scarcely swallow the water the night watch was good enough to give me. He was not a bad sort; yet even he refused to let out the cords of the strait-jacket. As he seemed sympathetic, I can attribute his refusal to nothing, but strict orders issued by the doctor.

It will be recalled that I placed a piece of glass in my mouth before the strait-jacket was adjusted. At midnight the glass was still there. After the refusal of the night watch, I said to him: “Then I want you to go to Doctor Jekyll” (I, of course, called him by his right name; but to do so now would be to prove myself as brutal as Mr. Hyde himself). “Tell him to come here at once and loosen this jacket. I can’t endure the torture much longer. After fighting two years to regain my reason, I believe I’ll lose it again. You have always treated me kindly. For God’s sake, get the doctor!”

“I can’t leave the main building at this time,” the night watch said. (Jekyll-Hyde lived in a house about one-eighth of a mile distant, but within the hospital grounds.)

“Then will you take a message to the assistant physician who stays here?” (A colleague of Jekyll-Hyde had apartments in the main building.)

“I’ll do that,” he replied.

“Tell him how I’m suffering. Ask him to please come here at once and ease this strait-jacket. If he doesn’t, I’ll be as crazy by morning as I ever was. Also tell him I’ll kill myself unless he comes, and I can do it, too.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.